The Mayor's New Suit Web
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
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FADE IN:
EXT. GOLF COURSE - DAY
A putter strikes a golf ball. It rolls along the green toward
the hole and stops a good foot short of the hole.
A thirty-ish weasel of a man, JOHNSON 1, one of the three of
MAYOR HEINE'S cronies present, stands holding the flag.
He points off to the distance.
JOHNSON 1
Isn't that a rabbit?
Johnson 1 kicks the ball into the hole as the everyone looks.
JOHNSON 1 (CONT'D)
Mayor Heine, wonderful shot! That makes
your eighteenth birdie today sir. I swear
if you weren't the mayor you could be
Tiger Woods.
The Mayor, distracted, looks over his shoulder examining his
balding slightly overweight appearance as it is seen from
behind.
MAYOR HEINE
How do I look in these pants? Is that
all right?
JOHNSON 1
Yes sir, amazing, like a sun-ripened
peach.
JOHNSON 2, a replica of Johnson 1, jumps forward.
JOHNSON 2
You're packed in those pants like a can
of biscuits sir!
ZIMMERMAN, the third "yes man," stands just to the side. His
clothes are similar to the Johnson's but just a bit
different. As always, he misses out on his chance to get in
good with the Mayor.
ZIMMERMAN
You shot a 59 for your fifth time this
month, sir!
Faintly in the distance the word "fore" is sounded to which
no one responds.
MAYOR
So what are we doing about the election?
JOHNSON 1
Well, sir, your parade idea is great.
MAYOR
Yes it is. I SHOULD have a parade for
myself so everyone can see how wonderful
I am.
He peers over his shoulder at his behind.
MAYOR (CONT'D)
If it weren't for. . .
A golf ball zips though the air and smacks Zimmerman in the
head. Johnson and Johnson look at Zimmerman out cold on the
green, register what has happened and rush to the Mayor's
side.
JOHNSON 1
Sir, are you okay?
JOHNSON 2
Oh my gosh that was so close!
JOHNSON 1
It's appalling! The people they let on
golf courses these days!
JOHNSON 2
Thank God that ball didn't hit you!
MAYOR
Yes I'm fine--
GENE QUARTERLY pulls up in a golf cart. A mix of Dudley
Doright, Superman, and Ghandi, Quarterly is an ex astronaut
who is returning from five years in the Peace Corps. He is
running against the Mayor in the upcoming election.
QUARTERLY
I'm so sorry it usually just goes
straight in the cup. You see I'm late
for an appointment, I'm a big brother and
I was hoping I could just play through,
and you just kept hitting the ball over
and over. Is everyone OK?
JOHNSON 1
The Mayor is fine no thanks to you!
QUARTERLY
I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. I
guess I'm just going to call it a day.
This is terribly embarrassing.
QUARTERLY (CONT'D)
(to a still unconscious
Zimmerman)
You take care now.
Quarterly picks up his ball and walks away as the Mayor's
eyes narrow with hatred. He throws his golf club in a fit of
rage.
EXT. ROADSIDE - DAY
Golf club clangs off the road and lands in the ditch. MARCO
and BRUCE, two out-of-work big city fashion designers dressed
in club wear, stand in front of an old car. The hood is up
and steam boils out of the radiator.
Behind them is a sign that says "Welcome to Happy Valley,
Home of Heine Cement". In front of that sign are two smaller
signs, one says "Vote for your Heine" the other "Quarterly
for Mayor".
Marco, the leader of the two, stamps his foot in frustration.
BRUCE
What was that?
MARCO
I don't know. . .doesn't matter. What we
need right is a working car.
BRUCE
I told you that thingy said it needed
water.
MARCO
So put water it in it.
BRUCE
Oh wait, I've got my mister!
Bruce runs and gets his facial mister. He rushes up and
sprays the motor.
BRUCE (CONT'D)
Ok. Now try it.
Marco tries the engine. It just clicks.
MARCO
Now what do we do?
BRUCE
Well call a tow truck.
He pantomimes dialing a phone and talking into it.
MARCO
Hello, tow truck? Uh-huh. Yes. I see.
Thank you.
BRUCE
Are they coming?
MARCO
No you idiot. Do I look like I have a
phone?
BRUCE
Don't get snippy with me!
They glare at each other for a minute.
MARCO
OK, we'll have to hitchhike.
BRUCE
Hitchhike? That sounds like an
adventure! What are we gonna wear?
Bruce and Marco stand on the side of the road with their
thumbs out wearing a new change of clothes for hitchhiking.
MARCO
Try to look tough. You know this is
dangerous.
BRUCE
Oh this is so exciting!
A FARMER driving a pick up truck with pigs and a dog in the
back pulls up.
FARMER
You boys ain't from around here, are ya?
You need a ride?
Marco and Bruce nod and get in the back of the truck, trying
to avoid the pigs. The dog snarls.
EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
Marco and Bruce look at the repair estimate.
BRUCE
One thousand two hundred dollars, and
fifty two cents. How much have you got?
MARCO
Eighteen dollars and a tic tac. How much
do you have?
BRUCE
I've got three dollars in my pocket, let
me check my bag . . . let's, see . . . my
Barbara Streisand CD, an autographed
picture of Judy Garland, Oscar Wilde,
none those are for sale. What are we
gonna do?
MARCO
Just give me some time to think.
BRUCE
Ok!
Bruce grabs a yo-yo out of his bag and starts to play with it
as a big black limo pulls up to the pumps. Johnson 1 and
Johnson 2, step from the vehicle and enter the gas station
while Zimmerman pumps gas into the Mayor's car.
JOHNSON 1
Zimmerman, take care of the gas.
JOHNSON 1 (CONT'D)
(to Johnson 2)
I'm carrying the chicklets back.
JOHNSON 2
No, I'm carrying the chicklets back, you
did it last time, suck up.
JOHNSON 1
Me? What about you, Mr. Sun-ripened
Peach?
ZIMMERMAN
"You pump the gas Zimmerman, I'm carrying
the chicklets." If I could only find a
way to make the boss's butt perfect--
(a beat)
For a perfect butt, the Mayor would pay
anything. . .maybe even a million
dollars.
Marco and Bruce eavesdrop on Zimmerman. An idea dawns on
Marco.
As Zimmerman turns from the car, Marco and Bruce appear
inches from his face.
MARCO
Hello, we're Marco and Bruce of Marco,
Marco, and Bruce, Image Consulting
Laboratories, Walla Walla Washington.
BRUCE
We're not from Wal--
Marco elbows Bruce in the ribs.
MARCO
We couldn't help but overhear your
dilemma. We at Marco, Marco and Bruce
specialize in gluteal reformation
enhancement.
ZIMMERMAN
Gluteal reformation enhancement?
MARCO
Yes, it just so happens that we have
spent years researching our new material.
It's a combination of lycra, latex, and
nitrous oxide.
BRUCE
With just a hint of mint--
MARCO
Which renders this amazing fabric so
light that it frames the derriere
perfectly.
BRUCE
--for freshness.
ZIMMERMAN
What are you guys talking about?
MARCO
In layman's terms, sir, we can make the
perfect butt.
Zimmerman's eyes widen. He digs in his pocket while watching
for the return of the Johnsons.
ZIMMERMAN
Take my card, call me at 8:00 tonight.
Make sure you don't breathe a word of
this to anyone.
Zimmerman steps into the car. Marco and Bruce grin at each
other.
Johnson and Johnson bicker at each other as they get in the
car and drive off.
BRUCE
That was brilliant!
MARCO
Mint! What were you thinking?
BRUCE
A touch of mint never hurt anything. . .
MARCO
So now what do we do?
BRUCE
You're the one with the fabric.
MARCO
I don't have any fabric, you idiot.
INT. TOWN HALL CITY COUNCIL MEETING - DAY
MAYOR
What's the first order of business?
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ, the President of the City Council,
stands and clears his throat.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
Commercial rezoning of the cement
factory. Since the entire community
respects, reveres, and works at your
factory sir, I move that the zoning go
anyway you want. If anyone disagrees, we
have ways of...influencing them.
JOHNSON 1
I second.
JOHNSON 2
I second.
ZIMMERMAN
(a half a beat late)
I second. . .too.
Zimmerman grits his teeth that he again misses his chance.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
All those in favor?
Everyone says "aye."
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ (CONT'D)
Those opposed?
The sound of crickets CHIRPING.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ (CONT'D)
Motion passes.
MAYOR
And the second order of business is my re
election as mayor.
COUNCILMAN 1, the new guy, pipes up.
COUNCILMAN 1
But sir, we're the city council, wouldn't
that be a conflict of interest?
Everyone snaps their head to look at the errant councilman
creating a chance for Zimmerman to slip out and wait for his
8:00 phone call.
COUNCILMAN 1 (CONT'D)
Because I don't think it is a confli. . .
in any. . .no.
INT. BATHROOM STALL - DAY
Zimmerman hides in the bathroom stall.
ZIMMERMAN
Yeah. you guys bring your product, and
I'll pick you up in 45 minutes after the
council meeting.
Zimmerman hangs up the phone, then calls his wife.
ZIMMERMAN (CONT'D)
Hi honey, I'm going to be late tonight.
I have a great idea to present to the
Mayor. Yeah I'll tell you all about it
when I get home. I love you too.
INT. MAYOR'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Inside his palatial home, the Mayor exercises on his stair
stepper in a biketard. His big haired, big cleavaged wife
counts reps for him from the couch while eating chocolates.
PEPE stands ready to serve. The door bell RINGS and Pepe
rushes to answer it.
Zimmerman is at the door with Marco and Bruce.
ZIMMERMAN
Good evening Pepe. I need to see the
Mayor. It's very important.
PEPE
MAYOR HEINE!
INT. STUDY - NIGHT
Pepe shows them into the exercise room.
ZIMMERMAN
Mayor, Heine, I know this is unusual
sir. . .
MAYOR
What is it, Johnson?
The Mayor stops his exercising and turns to face Zimmerman
sweat dripping down his face.
ZIMMERMAN
Zimmerman, sir. I'm Zimmerman. Uh, these
gentleman, they--
MARCO
Mayor Heine, what a pleasure to meet you!
A man of such prestige and power!
BRUCE
And so 80's!
MARCO
We're Marco and Bruce of Marco, Marco,
and Bruce, Image Consulting Laboratories
of Walla Walla Washington. We specialize
in gluteal reformation enhancement.
MAYOR
Gluteal reformation enhancement, what the
heck is that, Johnson what's the meaning
of this!?
BRUCE
We fix butts.
MARCO
We have spent years researching our new
material. It's a combination of lycra,
latex, and nitrous oxide--
ZIMMERMAN
With just a hint of mint.
BRUCE
(whispers to Honey)
For freshness.
MARCO
--which renders this amazing fabric so
light that it frames the derriere
perfectly like a picture of the Mona
Lisa.
BRUCE
Except with bigger cheeks.
MARCO
Our team of scientists have worked for
over ten years on this fabric to get the
warp and weft to work with the nitrous
oxide to create the perfect tension--
BRUCE
--and it's hypo-allergenic.
MARCO
--and when you wear a suit made solely of
this fabric it renders your entire
physique literally flawless.
BRUCE
--and it's turbo-charged.
MARCO
--all natural.
HONEY
--and fat free.
BRUCE
Yes and fat-free.
BRUCE (CONT'D)
(to Honey)
Fat-free, that was great.
HONEY
Thank you!
BRUCE
(motioning to her ring)
Oh! That's nice. Is it Tiffany's?
MAYOR'S WIFE
No it's mine.
MARCO
So, are you interested?
MAYOR
How much?
MARCO
Well, first we'll need the right working
environment to construct your suit.
And of course, transportation. And
shipping for the fabric is so expensive.
You know it's made on the International
Space Station.
MAYOR
The International Space Station?
MARCO
Yes, because it's so light, you know, no
gravity.
MAYOR
It has to be ready by Saturday for my
parade.
BRUCE
But this is Friday!
MAYOR
NEXT Saturday.
He makes money motions with his thumb and index fingers while
looking into the distance.
MARCO
Saturday. . .that. . .well. . .
MAYOR
Money's no object!
MARCO
It's a deal! We'll need a few things
right away though. . .
MAYOR
Johnson!
ZIMMERMAN
It's Zimmerman sir.
MAYOR
Make a list.
The Mayor motions them out and resumes his exercising.
MARCO
Now, for transportation, we need
something expensive--
BRUCE
I always work better with a lava lamp and
chocolate and pay TV and--
HONEY
And a poodle!
BRUCE
Oh my God! I SO never would have thought
of that. You're so special, where'd you
come from?
INT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Zimmerman enters his humble home and puts down his briefcase,
glad to be amongst normal people again. The Zimmerman's are
real people, his wife, ELLEN, is supportive and pretty. Like
a sexy June Cleaver. She meets him at the door, and they
greet each other with a warm hug.
ZIMMERMAN
Hey honey.
ELLEN
Well, how did it go? Did he like your
idea?
ZIMMERMAN
Well he seemed to. If this works. I
could get a huge raise. Is Starfish still
awake?
ELLEN
I'm not sure, she's been in bed for a
bit. I didn't know when you would be home
for sure.
ZIMMERMAN
I'll go check on her and say good night.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Zimmerman enters his daughters room stepping over toys and
books. STARFISH, 8 years old, sleeps in a tangle of covers.
Zimmerman kisses his daughter on the head.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Ellen sets his dinner on the bar and peels apples.
ELLEN
I made cookies for later and THESE are
for apple pie.
ZIMMERMAN
Well aren't we industrious.
ELLEN
So tell me about today.
ZMMERMAN
These two guys, Ellen, wait until you see
them. If they can do what they say, I'll
be city planner before the end of the
year.
ELLEN
I don't know why you're wasting your time
as city planner when you could be running
the city.
ZIMMERMAN
Thanks for the vote of confidence but
really.
ELLEN
Seriously, you could be mayor . . .you
SHOULD be mayor.
ZIMMERMAN
Knowing how to plan a sewage system and
knowing how to run a whole city are not
the same thing.
ELLEN
You can do anything, and I love you no
matter what you do.
ZIMMERMAN
I should feel pretty lucky huh?
ELLEN
Yes you should. Eat your peas.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Zimmerman squeezes though the door with his arms full of
stuff. Bruce wears the hotel robe and a towel wrapped around
his head. He grabs the frisbee and exits.
ZIMMERMAN
Okay, I've got your cash, a can of
depilatory and your
(frisbee bounces off his head)
...frisbee.
Marco grabs the cash and the depilatory.
MARCO
Now, the fabric will be hand delivered to
us by secret courier in three days.
ZIMMERMAN
Secret courier.
MARCO
We'll need that time in total solitude to
concentrate on creating our design of the
Mayor's suit.
ZIMMERMAN
Solitude.
Bruce dashes into the room and chimes in.
BRUCE
Total solitude except for room service
and deliveries.
He runs back out.
ZIMMERMAN
Okay, well, you have my cell phone number
if you need anything.
Zimmerman hears bouncing noises from the next room as he
leaves.
Marco leans in the bedroom door to find Bruce bouncing on the
bed with the frisbee.
MARCO
What are you doing?
BRUCE
I can touch the ceiling!
Marco steps forward, snatches the frisbee and sits at the end
of the bed.
MARCO
You have to work on your designs.
Bruce flops on the bed beside Marco and grabs the frisbee
back.
BRUCE
I have to see the fabric first if I am
going to make anything.
MARCO
There is no fabric, you idiot.
BRUCE
How can I make a suit for the Mayor with
no fabric?
Marco yanks the frisbee back.
MARCO
There's no fabric, there's no suit,
there's no nothing. It's not real.
BRUCE
How can I make a suit out of no not real
fabric?
He smacks the distraught Bruce on the head with the frisbee.
MARCO
Use your imagination.
INT. BARBER SHOP - DAY
Zimmerman and Starfish laugh and cut up, as they come through
the door of CRAZY LARRY's barber shop.
It's a typical old school barber shop with three barber
chairs facing a bank of waiting chairs. A few magazines from
twenty years ago rest on side tables.
Councilman Kutachez, sits in the barber chair and Happy
Valley's Chief of Police, CHIEF PAYOLA, waits his turn.
When Zimmerman sees the Councilman Kutdachez and Chief
Payola, he changes his demeanor from joking with his daughter
to business.
CRAZY LARRY
Hey Starfish, Mr. Zimmerman, I'll be with
you in just a minute.
They sit in the waiting chairs.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
How is the security for the parade coming
Chief?
CHIEF PAYOLA
Well, I've got Sam set up over on Fourth
and Main, and Willie over on Second.
I'll be traveling at the front of the
parade in the squad car and Fred will be
at the end of the parade in his car.
He considers what he just said.
CHIEF PAYOLA (CONT'D)
Well, it's not a squad car, but you know,
he can honk his horn. I think we can
handle any trouble that comes along.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
Did you take care of Mrs. Jenkins?
CHIEF PAYOLA
She's agreed not to march her alpacas in
the parade this year. For gosh sakes,
Fred just finished cleaning up from the
Easter parade.
CRAZY LARRY
It stains the concrete.
STARFISH
Only when they've been eating poke
berries. I like the alpacas.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
Well, she's not going to be in the parade
again this year.
STARFISH
My Dad says the only reason she was in
the Easter parade is 'cause she's the
mayor's first cousin, right Dad?
Zimmerman clamps his hand over Starfish's mouth.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
What was that?
Starfish repeats herself with his Dad's hand over her face.
ZIMMERMAN
She said, "the only reason she was in the
Easter parade was 'cause the whole town
was a buzzin'".
Councilman Kutdachez and Chief Payola look at Zimmerman like
he's an idiot.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
Anyway. . .it should be an excellent
parade.
ZIMMERMAN
Oh yes, I can hardly wait. I always look
forward to the Mayor's parades.
Starfish looks at her Dad wide-eyed.
STARFISH
But Dad, that's not. . .
ZIMMERMAN
Oh look at the time. . .I'm supposed to
pick up. . .
Zimmerman drags Starfish out the door.
EXT. BARBER SHOP - DAY
Starfish sulks as they walk down the sidewalk.
ZIMMERMAN
So about that.
Starfish stares at her Dad.
ZIMMERMAN (CONT'D)
You know, sweetheart, when you get to be
an adult you have to do certain things,
act a certain way. . .I have an image to
uphold, the people I work with expect me
to BE a certain way.
STARFISH
Is that why you lied about liking the
parade when you say how much you hate
them?
ZIMMERMAN
It's called politics.
STARFISH
And politics is why you don't say
anything about the Mayor using the city's
money to do his own stuff?
ZIMMERMAN
Did you hear that from your mother?
STARFISH
Is politics lying?
ZIMMERMAN
No, no, no, honey.
STARFISH
So why do you do it?
ZIMMERMAN
To help us get what we want, our family.
STARFISH
So you lie to get what you want?
ZIMMERMAN
No, I said politics isn't lying.
STARFISH
But Dad, you did lie.
ZIMMERMAN
Wanna get some ice cream?
INT. CHURCH - SAME
The whole community fills the pews. Zimmerman is there with
his wife and daughter. The Mayor is there with his wife, and
Johnson and Johnson sit on the back row. The PASTOR delivers
his sermon.
PASTOR
The only thing worse than a thief is a
liar! If you can't trust a man's word,
you can't trust the man!
MAYOR
(loudly)
Amen!
JOHNSON AND JOHNSON
Amen!
PASTOR
You shall know the truth, and the truth
shall set you free!
(fist slams on the podium)
EXT. CHURCH - LATER
Zimmerman and his family leave the church.
STARFISH
Boy, Dad, I'm glad I don't lie. That
lake of fire sounds pretty bad.
ZIMMERMAN
Yeah.
Mrs. Zimmerman stands behind them. MRS. JENKINS comes up to
her wearing an awful wig.
MRS. JENKINS
Oh hello, Mrs. Zimmerman. How do you
like my hair?
ELLEN
It's. . .wonderful.
MRS. JENKINS
It's alpaca.
ELLEN
Of course it is.
MRS. JENKINS
Yes I shaved them myself. They hand make
them in New Jersey.
ELLEN
Oh, I can tell.
Starfish notes her mother telling lies.
INT. HOTEL - NIGHT
Bruce sits in the floor surrounded by toys and junk food and
plays with rock-em-sock-em robots.
Marco gazes out the window at the night sky deep in thought.
He whirls around from the window.
MARCO
I've got it! It's SOOOO easy!
Bruce takes a huge bite of pizza.
BRUCE
What?
MARCO
You just have to make sure those drawings
are fantastic.
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Mayor kneels behind his desk playing with army men. There's a
knock at the door, and he rakes the figures off the desk and
straightens up.
MAYOR
Come in.
Zimmerman, Johnson and Johnson enter.
JOHNSON 2
Good morning Mayor Heine, you look
wonderful today sir. Here's the file
that you requested.
JOHNSON 1
Yes sir, you do look wonderful. Here's
your daily schedule. At 11:00 this
morning you have to accept that award at
The Ladies' Benevolent Society.
MAYOR
What's the award for?
JOHNSON 2
An award of excellence, for being you,
sir.
JOHNSON 1
It's well deserved, sir.
MAYOR
Oh yes, of course, and those ladies
always make an excellent egg salad!
JOHNSON 2
Then at 3:00 you have to christen that
new statue of yourself in the town
square.
MAYOR
How does it look from behind?
JOHNSON 2
Well sir, if Leonardo Da Vinci sculpted
with cotton balls that statue would be
it.
MAYOR
Excellent!
Johnson 1 fishes for information.
JOHNSON 1
Your 9:00 appointment, sir, it's on the
book, but there's no explanation.
Zimmerman cuts in with a smug smile.
ZIMMERMAN
Sir, your 9:00 appointment is outside
waiting. I brought them in with me to
work.
MAYOR
Oh! Show them in, show them in!
Johnson, Johnson, go wash the car.
JOHNSON 2
Isn't that Zimmerman's job, sir?
Mayor just looks at them. Zimmerman turns his back to the
Mayor and makes faces at Johnson and Johnson. The Johnsons
shuffle out the door.
Marco and Bruce enter carrying a big white box tied with a
wide ribbon. Zimmerman closes the door on the Johnsons
behind them.
MARCO
Good morning, Mayor.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
JOHNSON 2
What's going on? Who are those guys?
JOHNSON 1
I don't know!
JOHNSON 2
I thought you were the know it all.
JOHNSON 1
I'm not the one who pretends to know
everything. You are so stupid.
JOHNSON 2
I hate you.
JOHNSON 1
Shut up!
JOHNSON 2
No YOU shut up!
They start a girlie slap fight.
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Bruce shows the Mayor his sketches.
MARCO
Now, imagine the suit in these sketches
made out of THIS material.
MAYOR
(looks up from the sketches)
Johnson, Johnson! Get away from that
door!
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Johnson and Johnson trip over each other scrambling away from
the door.
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Marco unties the ribbon on the box. Inside is tissue paper
sealed with a gold seal. He reaches inside the box and holds
out his arms like he has fabric draped across them.
MAYOR
Where is the fabric, I don't see
anything?
Marco and Bruce look at each other and gasp.
MARCO
(shocked and dismayed)
Mayor, we thought, surely, you of all
people. . . !
Bruce tisks.
MAYOR
What do you mean?
MARCO
Well, we explained that this fabric is
state-of-the-art.
BRUCE
State. Of. The. Art.
MARCO
Only the most intelligent have the
ability to see it.
MAYOR
Most intelligent you say?
BRUCE
And the most deserving.
MARCO
Take another look, Mayor.
BRUCE
Connnnncentrate.
MAYOR
Ohhhhhh, now I see it! It's beautiful.
MARCO
Intelligent!
BRUCE
Deserving!
MAYOR
What do you think, Zimmerman?
Everyone turns to look at Zimmerman. A long pause.
MAYOR (CONT'D)
Well?
ZIMMERMAN
Stunning, sir.
Zimmerman's shoulders sink as he realizes he's just sold
himself out.
Series of shots with the Mayor wearing heart covered boxers,
a t-shirt, and black socks getting measured by Marco and
Bruce.
Marco & Bruce retrieve their box and rush out the door with
Zimmerman.
EXT. CITY HALL - DAY
Johnson and Johnson polish the car. Zimmerman opens the back
door for Marco and Bruce. Zimmerman gets in, starts the car
and drives away leaving Johnson and Johnson looking on.
JOHNSON 1
This is all your fault.
JOHNSON 2
My fault! You!
Johnson and Johnson start a girlie slap fight as the car
drives away.
INT. CAR - DAY
MARCO
I told you it would work.
BRUCE
You're the most intelligent.
MARCO
And the most deserving.
They both giggle.
BRUCE
Can I have a sea-do?
MARCO
No. . .yes you can.
They both giggle again.
ZIMMERMAN
Hey, guys, what did you say that fabric
was made of?
BRUCE
Fabric?
MARCO
(elbows Bruce)
The fabric. Well, we can't actually say,
it's a trade secret. If we told you,
we'd have to kill you.
Bruce giggles.
MARCO (CONT'D)
You weren't having any problems seeing
it, were you Zimmerman? I'm sure it would
be very unfortunate if the mayor
discovered that someone in his employ was
unable to see the fabric.
BRUCE
Yes, very unfortunate.
ZIMMERMAN
It's beautiful fabric.
Marco and Bruce gloat. Zimmerman sinks behind the steering
wheel.
INT. MEETING HALL - DAY
Ladies' Benevolent Society Meeting. It's a standard old
meeting hall with a small stage.
Blue-haired ladies fill the room except for Mrs. Jenkins with
her alpaca wig. Mayor Heine lounges with Johnson and Johnson
on each side, and the Mayor's competition, Gene Quarterly,
sits at the other end of the Mayor's table. CHAIRLADY
GIBBONS steps up to the podium.
CHAIRLADY GIBBONS
Hello, and Welcome to the Ladies'
Benevolent Society meeting. Today we
have a very special guest, the Honorable
Mayor Heine.
Round of applause. Mayor nods.
CHAIRLADY
. . . who will be receiving the Ladies'
Benevolent Society Man of the Year Award,
for the 3rd year in a row. But first
we'll hear from our own Mr. Gene
Quarterly who will give his very first
..."Quarterly report".
Round of applause. She giggles like a schoolgirl as Gene
Quarterly steps to the podium.
QUARTERLY
Thank you Chairlady Gibbons. I have some
very good news. The initial $50,000
Puppies, Kittens and Orphans Fund has
increased to $80,000 in the first
quarter.
More applause.
QUARTERLY (CONT'D)
Please please, I have a knack with money,
it's nothing.
Bigger applause.
LADY #1 and LADY #2 swoon at the table.
LADY #1
Ooh, he's so wonderful! We don't have to
do the bake sale this year!
LADY #2
(with chocolate smeared on her
face)
What will I do with those thirty pounds
of chocolate chips?
Mayor Heine fumes at the table.
QUARTERLY
And I will be unavailable for one quarter
this year as I am donating a kidney to a
very sick lab monkey.
MAYOR
What the heck is he doing here? I gave
them that $50,000!
JOHNSON 1
I don't know, sir.
JOHNSON 1 (CONT'D)
(to Johnson 2)
I thought I told you to check.
JOHNSON 2
You never told me to check!
QUARTERLY
And I hope with a bit of luck I will be
able to continue to serve the lovely
people of Happy Valley.
Mayor Heine smiles though clenched teeth.
MAYOR
(to the Johnsons)
Just shut up.
QUARTERLY
Thank you.
Applause as he sits down. Chairlady Gibbons comes to the
podium, all smiles.
CHAIRLADY GIBBONS
Thank you Mr. Quarterly for that
wonderful report. And now ladies, I'd
like to present to you "The Ladies
Benevolent Society's Man of the Year" the
Honorable Mayor Heine!
MAYOR
(quietly to Johnson 1)
How are my pants?
Johnson 1 peeks behind the Mayor.
JOHNSON 1
Like two squirrels in a gym bag sir!
Mayor looks at Johnson 1 confused then steps to the podium.
MAYOR
Thank you Chairlady Gibbons, and the rest
of you lovely ladies. This town just
wouldn't be the same without you. I
sometimes wish I was a lady so I could be
more a part of your wonderful
organization, however my wife wouldn't
appreciate that.
Giggles from the room.
MAYOR (CONT'D)
Unfortunately my wife was unavailable to
attend today due to a previous
engagement.
EXT. MAYOR'S HOUSE POOL SIDE - SAME
Island music is playing in the background. Honey is floating
on a raft in the pool drinking from a glass with an umbrella
in it. PEPE, the houseboy, is trying to paint her toenails
and he falls into the pool.
INT. MEETING HALL - SAME
MAYOR
The Ladies' Benevolent Society has long
been one the most prevalent and
productive organizations in Happy Valley
with the most attractive and intelligent
women in our county, if I do say so
myself.
More giggles.
MAYOR (CONT'D)
And with that, ladies, I think we can
proceed with lunch.
Chairlady Gibbons bustles back up to the podium.
CHAIRLADY GIBBONS
Thank you, Mayor Heine, yes ladies, on to
lunch, but first we must ask the
blessing. Mr. Quarterly, would you be so
kind?
Quarterly stands up.
QUARTERLY
Lord, bless this food we are about to
receive for the nourishment of our
bodies. We thank you for Mayor Heine and
all the good works that he has done in
our city, and we ask that you bless him
in his generosity and sincere service to
our community. Amen.
"Amen" from the crowd.
MAYOR
(through clenched teeth to
Johnson 1)
Could I hate him anymore than I do right
now?
JOHNSON 1
Yes you can sir.
JOHNSON 2
Definitely sir, I hate him exponentially
more each day.
OMITED SCENE LITTLE OLD LADY IS SITTING ON THE VERY END OF
THE TABLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF JOHNSON 2 SHOUTS.
LITTLE OLD LADY
The salad is nice!
INT. HOTEL - LATE AFTERNOON
Zimmerman struggles through the door of Marco and Bruce's
hotel room loaded down with sacks and boxes. Marco and Bruce
follow him carrying cappuccino cups.
ZIMMERMAN
(sighing as he puts down his
load)
Okay, anything else?
BRUCE
Yes, could you rub my feet?
Heavy sigh from Zimmerman.
EXT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE - EVENING
Zimmerman parks his car and gets out in the car port moves a
bicycle, walks to the house
INT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Zimmerman, enters the house and hangs his keys on the hall
tree. Starfish runs up
STARFISH
Hi, Dad!
ZIMMERMAN
Hiya sport.
STARFISH
Wanna play catch?
ZIMMERMAN
Ok, you get the football I'll meet you
out front. I really really have to wash
my hands. Zim walks into kitchen
ELLEN
(OC from kitchen)
Hey honey.
MRS. ZIMMERMAN
(chopping veggies kisses him on
the cheek)
Dinner won't be ready for half an hour.
STARFISH
(returns with football)
You ready?
ZMMERMAN
(goes to wash hands)
Gimmie a minute. Whats for dinner?
(starfish exits)
ELLEN
Vegatable stirfry.
ZMMERMAN
Sounds great.
(OC yell from door)
STARFISH
DAD!
ZIMMERMAN
Looks like I am needed, duty calls.
(exits to front yard)
EXT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE FRONT YARD - MOMENTS LATER
(football flies at Zim, as he exits door)
ZIMMERMAN
Ok, I see how this works.
STARFISH
You look tired.
ZIMMERMAN
(walks forward sits on
football)
Do I?
STARFISH
You look like you need more sleep.
ZIMMERMAN
(sighs)
Well I have been working a lot.
STARFISH
At Politics?
ZIMMERMAN
Yea.
STARFISH
Did you get what you want?
ZIMMERMAN
Thats a good question... You sure are
nosey for a kid!(grabs starfish rolls on
the lawn)
INT. MAYOR'S HOUSE - SAME EVENING
Mayor and Honey are finishing dinner. Mayor eats like a
slob. He is ranting to his wife.
MAYOR
. . .and then they ask Quarterly to say
grace! He's just an evil man.
HONEY
Oh my, what was he wearing?
Pepe the house boy is serving dessert.
MAYOR
But it won't matter, don't you worry your
pretty little head, I'm going to win the
election. Quarterly doesn't stand a
chance.
HONEY
Mr. Quarterly is so handsome.
MAYOR
(ignoring her)
When I'm in the parade, Quarterly won't
turn a single head, because all eyes will
be on me.
HONEY
Well, the ladies at the beauty shop say
that Mr. Quarterly . . .
MAYOR
(cutting her off)
Ah, ha! My peach! But I will be wearing
my new suit!
HONEY
Ohhh that's right when can I see it?
MAYOR
We did the draping today and the
fitting's tomorrow.
HONEY
Is Mr. Quarterly going to be there?
MAYOR
No!
Mayor flails his arms as Pepe walks up with the desert tray.
Mayor knocks the tray on Pepe, a pie hits Pepe in the face.
INT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE - LATER
Zimmerman, his wife, and Starfish are finishing eating pie.
ZIMMERMAN
Okay sport, it's time for bed.
STARFISH
It's still early!
ELLEN
We'll be there in a bit to tuck you in.
STARFISH
(leaving)
It's still early though.
Starfish exits. Zimmerman helps his wife clean up.
ZIMMERMAN
So, this fabric for the Mayor's new suit
is so state-of-the-art that only the most
intelligent and the most deserving can
see it.
ELLEN
How is that going to help the Mayor?
ZIMMERMAN
They say it makes your entire physique
look fabulous especially from behind.
ELLEN (CONT'D)
(raising her eyebrows)
Oh, really? That should make the Mayor
VERY happy. What's it look like?
ZIMMERMAN
It's. . .uhhhhh. . .well. . .it has to be
ready by Saturday for the parade. They
did the draping today, and there's a
fitting tomorrow. Geeze we better put
miss smarty pants to bed.
ELLEN LETS HIM OFF KNOWING SOMETHING IS UP
INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
ELLEN
(as they enter the room)
Did you brush your teeth?
STARFISH
Yep.
ELLEN
(kisses her)
That's my girl.
ZIMMERMAN
(kisses her other cheek)
Night.
Ellen exits and Zimmerman starts to turn out the light.
STARFISH
Dad, could you check the closet. I am not
sure but Lucy says that werewolves live
there so I think we should check...just
in case.
ZIMMERMAN
(checking closet)
And, what have I told you about Lucy
Johnson?
STARFISH
That "she's an eight year old child with
a big imagination."
ZIMMERMAN
That's right. See? No monsters. Night
sweetheart.
STARFISH
Night Dad.
EXT. YARD - EARLY MORNING
Close up on Johnson & Johnson's faces we can only see their
heads. Their bodies are hidden by a white barrier and as they
speak one will disappear for a second then the other,
alternating.
JOHNSON 1
We never wash the car!
JOHNSON 2
That sneaky Zimmerman!
JOHNSON 1
I hate Zimmerman, and who were those
guys?
JOHNSON 2
And what was in that box?
SQUEAKING sounds.
JOHNSON 1
Today, we're going to find out what is
going on.
JOHNSON 2
(with resolve)
Zimmerman is going to pay.
Pull back to reveal they are defacing one of Quarterly's
campaign posters that is standing in someone's front yard.
EXT. HUMANE SOCIETY - LATER THAT MORNING
Quarterly is holding a puppy in one hand and holding an
injured child's hand with the other. He is standing next to
Chairlady Gibbons while she cuts the ribbon at the grand
opening ceremony, and he smiles his superman smile.
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - SAME
Johnson, Johnson, Zimmerman, Chief Payola, and Councilman
Kutdachez are meeting with the mayor.
COUNCILMAN KUTHECHEEZ
Quarterly is leading in the latest polls
with widows, single women, flamboyant
gentleman and female students and he's
gaining on you with housewives.
CHIEF PAYOLA
This is the first time you've ever been
behind in the polls.
JOHNSON 2
(to Johnson 1 under his breath)
This is the first time he's ever had
anyone run against him.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
We need a serious plan, Mayor.
CHIEF PAYOLA
Should I have Quarterly arrested?
ZIMMERMAN
Or maybe we could have a sound fiscal
policy.
MAYOR
That won't be necessary!
BRUCE
(pokes his head in the door)
Hiya!
Marco and Bruce enter pushing a rack with a hanging bag on
it.
MAYOR
My solution has just arrived. Now, if
you'll excuse me, it's time for my
fitting.
Zimmerman, Johnson and Johnson, Councilman Kutdachez and
Chief Payola exit office to the hall. Bruce closes the door
behind them.
INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
The Mayor's campaign is in serious
trouble and he's being fitted for a suit!
Johnson, Johnson, what is going on here?
JOHNSON 2
(cornering Zimmerman)
Yes ZIMMERMAN, what IS going on?
Zimmerman brushes past Johnson and Johnson and adjusts his
suit.
ZIMMERMAN
The Mayor is having a new suit made to
wear in the parade on Saturday.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
And he thinks all he needs to win this
election is a new suit? Ridiculous!
ZIMMERMAN
Well, it's not just any suit, it's a
special suit.
CHIEF PAYOLA
Special suit?
JOHNSON 1
What do you mean, special?
ZIMMERMAN
It's kind of like magic.
JOHNSON 1
Magic?
ZIMMERMAN
Well, it's so state of the art it might
as well be magic. You see--
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Mayor is stripped down to his boxers, wife beater T-shirt,
and black socks and is standing on a stool in the middle of
the room.
BRUCE
(brushing the air at the
Mayor's shoulder)
Just let me smooth this out right here,
there. Does it feel too snug through the
shoulders?
MAYOR
No, no, it feels nice. Lite as a feather.
BRUCE
Well, it makes your shoulders look so
broad, I thought you gained some muscle
since yesterday.
MAYOR
The left sleeve looks a little too long.
BRUCE
Oh, you're absolutely right. Hold your
arms straight down.
Bruce pins the imaginary sleeve.
MARCO
(to Bruce as he circles the
Mayor)
Oh, you should see it from behind!
BRUCE
(circles around to the back)
Breathtaking!
MAYOR
(looking over his shoulder)
Really? It looks good.
MARCO
Like a sunset on the Caribbean.
INT. HALLWAY DAY - SAME
ZIMMERMAN
--made of a cutting-edge material that
makes the entire physique look fabulous,
and frames the derriere perfectly.
EVERYONE
Ooooooh!
ZIMMERMAN
And, there's another thing about the
fabric. Only the most intelligent and
deserving can even see it.
Marco opens the door to the Mayor's office.
MARCO
(with a flourish)
You can come in now.
Mayor is still standing on the stool in his underwear. He
does a little fashion turn.
MAYOR
(motioning to his invisible
suit)
Uhhh? Uhhh? Well?
Marco and Bruce clap. The others look shocked but quickly
cover it up and respond with a chorus of hesitant, but
overdone compliments looking at one another out of the
corners of their eyes to see if the others can really see it.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
(to the mayor, gesturing toward
Marco and Bruce)
And who has worked this miracle?
MAYOR
Gentlemen I give you Marco and Bruce, of
Marco, Marco and Bruce Image Consulting
Laboratories.
Councilman Kutdachez extends his hand to Bruce.
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
Councilman Kutdachez, nice to meet you.
BRUCE
(laughing)
Cut the cheese?
COUNCILMAN KUTDACHEZ
Kut-da-chez. It's Romanian.
BRUCE
(giggling)
Right.
MAYOR
(cutting them off)
And Police Chief Payola.
Marco and Bruce are a little nervous to shake his hand.
CHIEF PAYOLA
(shaking their hands)
Tony Payola, have I seen you guys
somewhere other than Happy Valley?
BRUCE
Ooooo! Who made your uniform? It's
great. My friend has one that's just
like it, but he's not a policeman.
REACTION FROM CHIEF PAYOLA. HE LOOKS CONFUSED.
MAYOR
Well, gentlemen, you've seen it with your
own eyes. The election is ours.
Quarterly won't stand a chance when the
public sees me in this suit.
JOHNSON 2
Plus, Quarterly is so stupid, he won't be
able to see the suit!
JOHNSON 1
That's right, he's not intelligent OR
deserving.
JOHNSON 2
And the whole town will see him for what
he is.
MAYOR
Quite right Johnson. Good thinking
Johnson.
Johnson and Johnson beam at each other and then glare at
Zimmerman.
INT. BEAUTY SHOP - DAY
Honey is having her hair done and is gossiping and laughing
with the hair LISA THE STYLIST in a fifties style hair salon
with Formica counter tops and big cone hair dryers all in a
row.
HONEY
. . .well, you'll never guess what! I'm
not supposed to say anything, but my
husband has a new magic suit.
LISA THE STYLIST
(always interested in gossip)
Magic? Really?
HONEY
The fabric is made in space.
LISA THE STYLIST
Space, you mean outer space?
HONEY
Yes! Outer space!
Pull back to reveal WOMAN #1 and WOMAN #2 getting their hair
done by other STYLIST #1 and STYLIST #2 on either side of
Mrs. Heine.
WOMAN #1
Outer space?
WOMAN #2
(whispering)
I think she means the moon.
HONEY
AND only the more smarter people can even
see it.
Pull back to reveal two more LADIES who raise an eyebrow and
nod.
HONEY (CONT'D)
AND they have to deserve good things.
INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE - MOMENTS LATER
MAN #1 and MAN #2 are looking at fishing gear.
MAN #1
They say you can't see the Mayor's new
suit if you cheat on your taxes.
MAN #2
Or if you call in sick to work and go
fishing.
INT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER
CELL PHONE WOMAN driving her car and talking on her cell
phone.
CELL PHONE WOMAN
They say it's made by aliens. And you
can't see it if--
EXT. SIDEWALK
OLD LADY #1 is talking to OLD LADY #2.
OLD LADY #1
--you're nosey.
INT. COFFEE SHOP
VEGAN is at the counter.
VEGAN
--a Republican.
EXT. SANDBOX
KID #1 is talking with KID #2 AND KID #3
KID
--pee your pants.
CU REDNECK WITH A SHOTGUN
REDNECK
--if you like musical theater. . .and
listen to the sound track in your
truck. . .
REDNECK (CONT'D)
(realizing he has revealed to
much)
. . .when no one's around . . .
REDNECK (CONT'D)
(hurriedly)
. . . that's what I heard.
(cough)
INT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE - EVENING
Zimmerman is helping Ellen with the dishes.
ELLEN
You won't believe what I heard at the
grocery store today. Everyone in town is
talking about the Mayor's new suit.
ZIMMERMAN
How did they find out?
ELLEN
Suzie told me that she heard it from
Ricky's cousin, Mark. Mark said he found
out from Louis. And Louis heard it from
Gale's cousin Lisa the hair stylist.
Starfish bounds into the kitchen.
STARFISH
My teeth are brushed!
ZIMMERMAN
Okay, sport, it's sack time.
Zimmerman and Starfish head upstairs to the bedroom.
INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
STARFISH
Are you excited about the parade?
ZIMMERMAN
Excited? Sure. It should be lots of
fun. Do you know how much I love you?
Starfish stretches his hands out as far as he can.
STARFISH
This much?
ZIMMERMAN
At least.
Zimmerman flips off the light.
STARFISH
Dad!
ZIMMERMAN
Oops.
Zimmerman checks closet light and shuts the door to the
bedroom.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE MAYOR'S HOUSE - MORNING - ESTABLISHING
Birds CHIRPING. Pleasant morning scene.
INT. MAYOR'S HOUSE - SAME
The Heines are eating breakfast. Pepe is serving.
MAYOR
Today's the big day. I'm going to wear
my suit in the parade and run that
ass-ronaut right outta town--
HONEY
That's bad.
PEPE
(thinking she's referring to
breakfast)
It was prepared fresh this morning!
Shall I take it away?
HONEY
(puzzled)
No.
MAYOR
--once I establish my gluteal
superiority, the population can't help
but vote for me.
Pepe tries to take her plate.
PEPE
But, I can make you another one.
Honey holds on to her plate.
HONEY
I don't want another one.
PEPE
You said it was bad.
They tug of war over the plate until it flies out of their
hands and flies like a frisbee and smashes into the wall.
BALLOON POPS
RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Good morning, Happy Valley! It's parade
day! And a beautiful sunshiny day it is.
It's going to be close to 90 degrees out
there so don't forget that sunscreen.
SERIES OF SHOTS
A) EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET
Town is gathering for parade.
Marco and Bruce pack their things. They jump up and down on
suitcases that are way too full.
C) INT. KUTDACHEZ'S BATHROOM
Kutdachez tweezes his unibrow.
D) INT. PAYOLA'S HOUSE
Chief Payola is tightening his girdle.
E) INT. ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE
Zimmerman is tying his tie, looks in the mirror and sighs.
END SERIES
INT. MAYOR'S HOUSE - SAME
Mayor is standing in front of his three way mirror. Marco
and Bruce are "dressing" the Mayor.
BRUCE
(looks to Marco giggling and
says to the Mayor)
No! No! No! You can't wear underpants in
the parade! It will ruin the line of the
suit!
Marco and Bruce exchange looks as the Mayor undresses
completely. They dress him in his new suit.
MAYOR
(turns to face his wife)
Well Honey? Whaddya think?
HONEY
Oh, you look just like you did on our
wedding night.
EXT. CITY STREET - LATER
People are lined up along the street to watch the parade.
Starfish, with his parents, is trying to find a good place to
stand. Starfish is jumping up so he can see past everyone.
PARADE
ZIMMERMANS WATCHING PARADE
STARFISH JUMPING UP AND DOWN
STARFISH POV OF BUTTS BLOCKING HIS VIEW
STARFISH TURNING TO HIS PARENTS
STARFISH
I can't see, I can't see!
PARADE PASSING
MARCO AND BRUCE STANDING ON BLEACHERS
They have a briefcase.
MARCO
If this works, we could open up a store.
STARFISH AS HE BEGINS TO PUSH PAST PEOPLE
STARFISH AS HE BREAKS THROUGH THE PEOPLE
BEAUTY QUEEN PASSING IN CONVERTIBLE
STARFISH WATCHING PARADE AS HIS EXPRESSION CHANGES
NAKED MAYOR PASSING IN ANOTHER CONVERTIBLE
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - MOMENTS LATER
A big convertible with Johnson and Johnson in the front. The
Mayor is sitting on top of the back seat waving to the crowd
and grinning.
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - SAME
STARFISH
(when he sees the Mayor)
HE'S NAKED! MAYOR HEINE IS NAKED!
The marching band stops, everyone gasps and stares at
Starfish.
STARFISH (CONT'D)
Dad, He's naked!
PAUSED PARADE
A beat then the whole crowd erupts in chatter.
Zimmerman watches the parade break down, knowing it's his
fault.
EXT. ANOTHER CITY STREET - SAME
Marco and Bruce are sneaking away with some bills sticking
out of their briefcase.
CROWD CHATTERING
MAYOR'S CAR
The Mayor hits the Johnsons as they reverse out of the
parade.
MAYOR
Get me outta here!
ZIMMERMAN
He cuts through the crowd and hops on the newspaper box.
ZIMMERMAN
(looks at the crowd, the Mayor,
then his son)
Yes son, Mayor Heine IS naked.
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - SAME
Everyone repeating "the Mayor's naked" etc. down the row of
people on the street.
ZIMMERMAN
People, people, people! This is my
fault. I was just trying to make a
difference. A difference for Mayor
Heine, a difference for my family, and
for you, the people of Happy Valley.
But, I wasn't brave enough to step out of
the crowd and be honest.
ELLEN AND STARFISH
ZIMMERMAN
ZIMMERMAN (CONT'D)
It took my son to show me how important
it is to tell the truth. I apologize for
my mistake, and I'm resigning my post at
the Mayor's office. I'm sorry.
QUARTERLY
(yells from the crowd)
ZIMMERMAN FOR MAYOR! ZIMMERMAN FOR MAYOR!
ZIMMERMAN'S REACTION
CROWD AND QUARTERLY
Crowd joins in "Zimmerman for Mayor!"
ZIMMERMAN
ZIMMERMAN
I don't know what say. . .Oh wait, yes I
do!
Zimmerman jumps down, goes to Starfish, and kneels down.
ZIMMERMAN (CONT'D)
Thanks sweetheart.
Someone "RALPHS" in the background.
OR
TEENAGER
Man, that was soooo cheesy!
HONEY
She sidles up to Quarterly.
HONEY
Hello, Mr. Quarterly, it's so nice to
finally meet you.
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - SAME
Mayor's convertible is pulled off on the side of the street.
He's making Johnson and Johnson give him their clothes. One
is shirtless and the other is pantless. They are all
squabbling and blaming each other.
EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN - SAME
Marco and Bruce drive off into the sunset past the sign that
says "Thank you for visiting Happy Valley"
FADE OUT.
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